Tuesday, February 16, 2010

No Common Sense For Bride's Parents

The definitions that I meant.

Would be - Before marriage, but after finalizing (finalizing need not be engagement)
Boy - The person who is in discussion, and not known before.
Known Boy - The person who is in discussion, but, the boy is known to the girl's family more than the other people in that situation.

In the career of boy, if he has more than 2 weeks of gap between any two jobs, it means, the previous company had fired him and he took some time to find the new job.

If the guy is working for a company, which does not come in news papers regularly (not like Satyam), then most probably, they would ask him to apply for big companies like Infosys, TCS, Wipro etc. It does not matter if the boy's company's revenue is more than the revenue of Infosys, TCS and Wipro put together.

If the girl is working somewhere, they would not mind if she talks to her male colleagues for hours. But, they will have serious problems, if the boy talks to her more than few minutes. Few parents insist that, they have to be there when they talk first time.

The girl can travel alone in buses and autos, and can closely sit next to unknown guys. But, she cannot sit at a distance of one feet from the boy, eventhough they have been talking for more than a month.

The girl can go for a whole day trip with her male classmates/colleagues without any female friends. But, she cannot go anywhere with would be or known boy, even if she has complete control of whom all to invite with her from both the families.

Till the engagement is over, girl's parents think that, the boy is not at all a match for them. They find atleast one thing in which girl's family is better than boy or boy's family. Even if the boy is earning huge salary, still if their total wealth is less than the girl's family, the girl's family feels that, the boy is not at their level. If their wealth is more than girl's wealth, and previously they were not as rich, then they say that, "Now, they are at our level. But, previously, they were no match at all". If nothing works out, then they say that, the boy is dark-complexioned.

You cannot put any kind of conditions on girl. For example, if people in their community eats non-vegetarian, then the boy cannot put condition that girl should be a vegetarian. Atleast he should not say it in public. It is possible that, when the boy talks to girl (when nobody is around), he can ask her whether she is vegetarian or not. If she is a non-vegetarian, he can reject her. But, if he gives this reason while rejecting, then everybody will criticize him saying that, he has not told this before. If he tells before, there will be another kind of problems that he has to face. If the boy feels that, the reason should not reduce the confidence of the girl or her parents, then it is only his problem to come up with a valid reason.

The boy cannot talk to girl for a long time to decide. He cannot dump all the information in less time (for ex, by giving in writing), otherwise girl would be bewildered.

The parents of the girl may say that, since this is a life decision, so they have to be extremely careful. The boy is also trying the same. By having better communication, it would be better for both the boy and girl. The parents of the girl should give atleast the same respect that they give to a person who is lesser known than the boy.

After marriage, if the boy's mother does the same thing as girl's parents, they will make hundreds of movies and serials on her.


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