[Humor] In this weird world we live in

In this weird world we live in

• If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
  
• Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
  
• Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
  
• Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  
• My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
  
• In today's world is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
  
• For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
  
• If you look like your passport picture, you probably need that vacation.
  
• Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
  
• A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
  
• Eat well, stay fit, you will die anyway.
  
• Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
  
• Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
  
• Opportunities always look bigger while going than coming.
  
• Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
  
• Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
  
• By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
  
• Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.